are you an imposter?

Happy New Year! Make your new year resolution to believe in yourself!

“Why didn’t you come directly to us instead of going through an agency?” the interviewer asked my friend. Afterwards she confided that she didn’t contact them direct, as she feared being rejected. She got the job with no problem. She is an amazing person with lots of experience, good with people and well-motivated to meet any challenge. Who wouldn’t want to employ her? She is now loving it and exceeding all her targets. You can see a difference in her now as she glows in a confidence that comes from being secure in her abilities.

But why do we so often suffer from low esteem and a lack of confidence? Apparently this can be due to the ‘Imposter Syndrome’… this is when we think we are not really good enough to be where we are and fear being found out. A common problem even with high flyers! In fact, imposter syndrome is associated with highly achieving, highly successful people

Why do we let our fears hold us back? And importantly how do we step outside our comfort zone and do the things we dream of!

Well, we could try a few simple ways of building our confidence.

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  1. Start by taking small steps that aren’t too scary. Just do the things you keep putting off? Call someone you have lost contact with, visit somewhere you have always wanted to go, learn something new or take up a new hobby. Regularly being successful in small ways will make you feel better about yourself and help you to trust your instincts. The trick is to challenge yourself without overdoing it! Start moving gradually outside your comfort zone and eventually your comfort zone will become bigger and although awkward at first, you will start to find it easier.
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2. Develop a healthy sense of self-worth. This is something you can practice at! Keep a record of positive feedback and successes so that you can believe in own abilities and strengths. Judge yourself on your accomplishments instead of focusing on your faults. Get the glue out and create a new year Rememberlutions Jar! The craft is twee, but the science of positive psychology is sound! Avoid comparing yourself with others as there will always be people better and worse than you. And finally don’t make decisions on what others may think of you, it’s your life not theirs.

3. Avoid negative people who ‘sap’ you instead of ‘zapp’ you. (Read ‘Zapp!: The Lightning of Empowerment’ it is one of my all-time favourites.) Does anyone leave you doubting your abilities, make you feel guilty or reduce your self-esteem? Negativity can be contagious so avoid spending time with people who sap your energy.

Bob Proctor said ‘We can either tiptoe through life and hope we get to death without being badly bruised or we can live a full, complete life achieving our goals and realising our wildest dreams’

So live the life you want to without fear or others holding you back.

Choose to believe in yourself.

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