Today has been a great day….the kids have finally gone back to school! But getting them mentally prepared for the challenge of change again has not been easy. One of my daughters is autistic and really struggles with change. I found however, that making lists has really helped her mental wellbeing and helped her (and those around her) coping strategies to manage her concerns.
We sat down and made a list of all the things at school that play on her mind and then shared this with her teachers. Many of the things on the list aren’t easily fixable, however the act of making the list and talking it through with me actually seemed to greatly reduce her anxiety around going back to school.
Sitting down at my (now VERY peaceful) desk today, with the children back at school, I proceeded to bring out the notebook and start my daily to do list. I found myself reflecting on the fact that the action of writing a to-do list has exactly the same effect on calming my anxiety and stress around workload as it had on my daughter and her worries around school. I sometimes feel guilty spending the time writing lists as it can be seen as a procrastination activity. However if the act of writing the list focuses your thoughts, reduces anxiety and ultimately helps your metal wellbeing, maybe I need to stop feeling bad about my list writing!
So what have I discovered about list making that might be helpful to you? Some of these thoughts are inspired from the article ‘How to make the most of your to-do list’:
1. Nothing beats a hand written list: There is something very satisfying in writing a list and being able to tick or cross off activities as they are completed. I like to use a daily hand written to do list alongside a google calendar. Having a note book by my computer means that any of those errands that pop into my mind or come into my inbox that I don’t have time/or the desire to do there and then won’t be forgotten.
2. Make to do list items specific and achievable: A study by Liverpool University has linked having broad, abstract goals with exacerbating depression. When you don’t identify specific criteria for achieving goals, they are harder to visualise and often results in being more difficult to accomplish. This can lead to a downward spiral of negative thoughts.
There is apparently a right way to do your to do lists according to Christine Ianni, who proposes using a 3 step method. Start by listed a goal for the day at the top of the page to ensure you never lose track of your top priority. Large tasks on your list need to then be broken down into smaller more achievable pieces, ideally making them SMART actions (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely).
3. Lists don’t have to be ‘to do’ lists: One of the really beneficial lists I encouraged my daughter to create was a list of things she does like about going to school, a ‘gratitude list’. Although we had aimed to list all her concerns, asking her at the end to list the positives really helped to lift her mood and focus on the good bits.
Another alternative to the gratitude list, is the ‘I did’ list. Making a list at the end of the day containing everything you have achieved can really support reflective practise. This form of reflection improves your awareness of what you are capable of achieving in a day and supports you to set realistic goals for the next day.
Other lists that can be helpful for your mental wellbeing are worry lists (as I started this blog with) and also hopes/dreams lists.
4. There are so many apps out there to support list making: I use trello for making more long term to do lists as I’ve found it really easy to group activities to different projects or themes. This is my place to store those tasks that aren’t for me to carry out today but I don’t want to forget that they need to be done in the future. It’s also possible to use it collaboratively, so that different people can be assigned to tasks within lists. I have tried lots of other apps in the past, if you want to know more you can read about the best ones in 2021 here.
5. Beware: Long lists can actually cause anxiety! We have so many unfinished tasks to complete in our lives, especially if we consider more than just work activities, such as shopping, household chores, managing the kids hobbies and their social activities….the list can be endless and becomes one massive mess. One answer, suggested by Sarah Bence in her blog post, can be to adjust your lists into categories to give it more balance. To improve your mental health, include categories covering self-care and leisure tasks such as gardening or reading that bring you pleasure. Having these activities also listed will help you to visualise a more healthy balance to your day. Writing a to-do list can be an actionable way to manage your stress better.
Whatever lists you make and whatever way you find works for you to make them, remember how powerful they can be to support reducing anxiety around the chaos of life and increases productivity. The humble ‘to-do’ list will continue to be my go to start of a working day (and occasionally my weekends when I have lots I want to get through).
To do list photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
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